I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
