I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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