This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
