he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
