Taylor Swift is so right about you.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
