More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
