12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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