so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
