You're so nebulous sometimes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
