I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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