Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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