would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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