...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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