first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
