I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
