and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
