Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
