why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
