I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
