I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
