just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let the clothes fall where they may.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
