My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
