I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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