Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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