I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
