I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
