Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
