i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Randomize
