I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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