Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
