my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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