So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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