I wannas sexs uuuuu
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
