This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
