mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
