he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
