And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
