I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
