You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
