How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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