is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
