So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
