I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
