found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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