def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
