What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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