I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
