so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
