Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
