How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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