remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
