I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
