on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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