Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
