I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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