why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
